The Return of the Orange Virgin
by Rob Hunter
The Fata Morgana, Orange Virgin, Lady of the Wild Things, etc., etc. – bitchy, quirky, a goddess.
El – a quasi-divine meddler, an anthem to himself, busy about his own self-worth. He and the Orange Virgin had a disagreement many years before our story. They are both answerable to a higher power.
Biff Bangtree – a golem, Morgana's plaything―the scapegoat, a paraclete, Jesus as Pinocchio. Biff’s teacher and companion, the Manticore―a beast with the face of a man, porcupine quills, lion's body and the tail of a scorpion―is stuck in the wall of a castle cellar.
Harry Profitt Pease – the Priest of the Fata Morgana. Nearing 60, he was once the star center on the state champion basketball team.
Penfield Harrington – a lover of night nurses and truck-stop waitresses, he is redeemed by Linda Winkelman.
Linda Winkelman – the Priestess of the Fata Morgana. A knowledgeable competitor in the world of advertising. An attractive woman approaching 40, she could have had the Pork-A-Dillos account.
Jack Lamprey and Alf Tawse – elder dwellers, the earth-spirits of Morgana's world of exile. They are immortal but keep busy.
Cousteau McClonaghy – restaurateur, he owns EAT, the diner where Harriet Hopwood slings hash.
David (Dim Lights) Morrissey – Pen Harrington's pal.
Prince – a big yellow dog, likewise Pen Harrington's pal. Not a weimaraner.
Harriet Hopwood – waitress at EAT. A tightly knit woman, broad of beam and small-breasted, she has the supple lower back and slim waist of a devoted rider of horses. Harriet had played the Innkeeper’s Wife in the ecumenical Christmas pageant.
Oswaldo Patricio Melendez O’Rourke y Nuñez – A fugitive orphan. Harriet catches the toss of the cosmic dice and falls for him.
Patricio – Oswaldo's uncle: an international traveler with a line of pharmaceuticals and a first-time visitor to Canada: “Perfidious Albion’s ice-bound colony. Moose, polar bear, savage aborigines, the Church of England has civilized them all, taken their teeth. They await Mama Coca for their four o’clock tea.”
Miguel Santandrea – a hit man with a conscience.
Paul Blackburn – a poet. Paul is a real person. He is dead and his books are out of print. An expert on Provençal troubadour ballads.
Alma Nightingale – she brightens and defines Harry Pease. A childhood sweetheart, she is friends with
Joyce Gladstone (Mrs.) – librarian at the Valiant Memorial Library of Moose City at which establishment Rev. Murtry shows slides of the Holy Land and other elevating subjects on Friday nights in season. Twizzle is the Rev.’s dog, a weimaraner.
Sarabande – a nymph and Superintendent of the Plantings.
The Manticore – he is Biff Bangtree's cicerone, Morgana's messenger and confidante.
The Moose of Circumstance – the wild cattle of Eternity, a herbivore. A symbol of forgiveness.
The Goat and the Cow – allegorical figures cut from stone, they remain in the cellar where they dream of walking under the sky.
Elizabeth Profitt Pease – Harry's sister. She thinks his eccentricities foreshadow future embarrassments and wants to pack him away downstate as a nut case. [see The Nine-patch Variation]
Bob Sawyer – a county deputy.
Cap’n Dan – Pen Harrington's employer. Dan isn’t choosy and is elated to have come up with a grownup who can speak and hear, drunk or sober. The high school kids are making 25 cents an hour more at McDonald’s than he is paying and don’t listen to his radio station anyway.
Champion, Everlast, Quigley – minions of the Law. Two Mounties and a State Trooper.
The Wise Child – one aspect of the Fata Morgana in her dream-sendings.
The Destroyer – another aspect of the Fata Morgana.
Fraxifrage – giant horse of the Wise Child.
A mother and daughter watching the night sky.
A castle child with a finger in his nose. A toddler – the nose is runny and what better place for a finger?
The pig, who started it all, an innocent by-stander.
Pork-A-Dillos, tasty little curls of fried pork rind, a low cholesterol consumer item, dietary peccadillos.
The Dancing Lords – proud of their manicured lawns and arboriculture―quite conducive to creative reflection. At a remove, the screams of the tormented ring from their torture pits. The Dancing Lords have disappeared at the time of our story―no problem.
George Amberson – exists as a mention in the Epilogue. George is the father-in-law of Dim Lights Morrissey, father of Maija, Mrs. Morrissey, and the putative grandfather and perhaps namesake of the reborn Biff.
copyright 1993, 2006 Rob Hunter