Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be heard...
For the uninitiated, The Return of the Orange Virgin was first published online as a serial novel―32 monthly chapters lofted over three years (2006, 2007 and 2008). Audio files (MP3, Ogg Vorbis) of the chapters will be appearing here throughout 2011 as studio time allows. Until then, please accept the readings assembled below as a foretaste of things to come.
Ogg Vorbis?
A new arrival at onetinleg.com is the Ogg Vorbis option. I mean, really... who wouldn’t prefer a compression technology inspired by Terry Pratchett’s Discworld? Ogg is the enclosure, Vorbis the codec―more bounce to the ounce and at a potentially lower bit weight than MP3s. There is a panoply of Ogg Vorbis players out there―I use the VLC player; you can download it here. But then, I am an XP holdout. The Windows 7 operating system comes with the Ogg-friendly Windows Media Player 12. There are add-ons for older devices, too. Mac? Yep. For OS X follow the bread crumbs at http://www.vorbis.com/.
How do you subscribe to this podcast? Copy the URL in the box below into your preferred podcasting software (e.g. Feedreader, iTunes, Juice, etc.). You will automatically receive fresh Orange Virgin podcasts each time they’re published. And you are invited to follow along. For scalable-text click any “Print” link at www.onetinleg.com.
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Ahhh, where was I now? Oh, yes―the disclaimer. These MP3 downloads are released under a Creative Commons license. They're free. Copy the files as much as you want, pass ’em around. All I ask is that you don't alter the file or sell it. If you like what you hear, tell your friends. And thanks for listening.
Prologue: The Congress of the Stones
What follows has been excerpted from The Return of the Orange Virgin. For the text version follow the links at www.onetinleg.com. There has been some rewriting for clarity. This particular podcast presents the Fata Morgana, a goddess. We follow her down illimitable flights of steps cut from the living rock of her world of exile. There will be a parley with the planet itself. The pitch of the steady slope is such that the Fata Morgana thinks ‘down’ no matter whether the passageway rises or falls. Darker stains on the walls and increasing damp underfoot tell of the nearness of ground water; faint highlights flow and dance over mineral accretions that cling like dripping wax to the roof and walls. At every twist and turn, she feels the weight of scrutiny, that the very stones are reaching, yearning from where they had been lifted and placed by hands long departed.
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The Prophet Harry
This audio podcast has been excerpted from The Return of the Orange Virgin, chapters 1 and 5, “The Pig Killing” and “Harry Does the Lawn.”
Appearances count for a lot in rural Maine for, despite the good fellowship professed by the easy-going citizens of the Canadian borderland, a strain of Calvinist stricture papers over any zits. Every soul is a member of some church, high, low, Pentecostal or other. Check one please. Thus it was not thought overly strange when Harry Profitt Pease took to wearing an aluminum foil hat to confuse space aliens, nor when he was observed in conversation with the black and white spotted pig that followed him around. He had been, after all, the star center on that state championship team in high school.
Now closing in on 70, Harry has heard the call of the Fata Morgana, Lady of the Wild Things―a goddess, ancient and dispossessed. A late vocation from a religion long forgotten: this Harry decided to keep to himself. It all began when Marcus Hanrahan called to say there was beer in the refrigerator and the pigs were waiting. He and the wife and the Hanrahan kids, whose pets the pigs had been, would be at the mall...
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The Raspberry Dream
This audio podcast has been excerpted from The Return of the Orange Virgin, chapters 4 and 18, “The Raspberry Dream” and “The Valiant Buffet.”
The reading features Harry Profitt Pease―the freshly-anointed priest-ordinary of the Fata Morgana as he browses little nibbly things with cheese and toothpicks at the refreshments table at the Valiant Trust Memorial Library Friday night soiree. And The Fata Morgana, Lady of the Wild Things―as she rhapsodizes on shovels: “A useful instrument,” she says. “It asks little in the way of affection, has no moving parts and runs on dried out crusts, cheese rinds and yesterday’s ale.”
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spinoffs and other mythical beasts
Following up on the further adventures of the characters―the citizens of the tale, after all―Harry’s sister Elizabeth has blossomed into her own series of tales: The Ninepatch Variation, The Red Sneaker Zones, Chimaera Constant, Blue (as in an Early Frost), and Grasshopper Dreams. They’re on the Internet and coming in the collection, “The Quilter who went to Hell,” in late 2011. Check in with the website for availability. Just visit www.onetinleg.com, click the “buy a book” link on the index page. And follow the “MP3 audio” link for other forays into the fantastic.
Podcast Alley―a downloading and streaming site
Acknowledgements―the music credits
Complaint Department―the buck stops here
Lost in Willipaq―Lovers, Losers, and Part-time Demons
Willipaq, the book: new stories, fresh forays into the fantastic―sixteen tales plus a novella.
Magnetic Betty―has big trouble; her omlette pan has run off to Australia.
“Oh... brollyflogger,” says Betty. “Language, Betty. Language,” says Mrs. Kunkle, Betty's mom. Magnetic Betty, an eight-year-old Brownie Scout, marshals the Browntown Ocelots to save the world, Santa Claus, and Christmas as we know it, assisted by Walt and Madge, her bewildered parents, along with Dolby Jenks, World’s Number One Champion Detective, and P. I. Kunkle, the famous composer who leads the Browntown Pep Band. (with 11 original illustrations by Maine artist Lee Suta)
A Brief History of the Author―the thumbnail bio
A Pill to Purge Melancholy―platterland
Platterland―more than a leaky soliloquy, lots of leaky soliloquies―better than meting a really good dental hygienist on eHarmony. Here is the onetinleg.com blog, a necessarium of useless tips on the mysteries of life you’ve been waiting for.
All content on this website, unless otherwise noted, is licensed under a Creative Commons License
